The Power of Love -

Dating Smart

 by:

Jill Dellamalva

You don't need to depend on fate to bring "The One" to your doorstep.

You might have to wait a very long time.

You don't have to be the prettiest girl or the most handsome guy to be

a successful dater. You don't need a huge bank account. You don't have to

drive a new sports car, live in a large home, have the best sense of

humor, or the most confidence. These things are all desirable; but chances

are, they won't keep the target of your affection around forever.

So what is it that you need to get and keep your love around? The

answer is simple.

Power.

Many people looking for relationships are searching for someone to

complete them, to fill in what is lacking in their own lives. A smart

dater pays attention to detail, determines what it is that the other

person is lacking, and ultimately provides it. A smart dater knows that

when you are a source of something another person needs to be happy, you

have power over them.

The first step to achieving power and becoming a smart dater is

assessing the personality of the person you want to be with. You must zone

in on the characteristic that defines the person most. Then, use your

observations about their personality to determine what the person needs in

his or her life to be happy. Finally, provide it.

Take, for example, the aggressive personality. If you're in love with

The Aggressor, you know that he or she isn't a bit shy. The Aggressor

knows what he or she is after, and thrives on the challenge of attaining

it. Love with The Aggressor can be compared to a sport, and The Aggressor

is looking to win. Like in any sport, an easy victory can be quite boring

and quick. Your task is to give the Aggressor a challenge. Do not let your

heart be an easy win. If you do, the Aggressor will simply move on to the

next person. When the Aggressor leaves you a voice mail to call them back,

forget to call. When the Aggressor asks you out for a date, once in a

while tell them that you are too busy. Be moody, selfish, and difficult

from time to time. Now, don't be completely mean - remember, you must give

kindness and affection to The Aggressor as much as you take it away. This

will drive The Aggressor insane, and cause him or her to lose focus of the

game. In no time, you'll be holding the trophy.

Perhaps your love interest is not The Aggressor. Perhaps he or she is

reserved and shy. This personality type tends to be innocent, and maybe

lacking in solid relationship experience. You job, then, is to initiate

The Quiet One into the realm of relationships and dating. Give The Quiet

One something to get excited about. Shower The Quiet One with frivolous

gifts and attention. Approach The Quiet One with zest, energy, and an

ultra-positive attitude about life. Essentially, bring The Quiet One out

of his or her shell, making them feel comfortable with you. In return, The

Quiet One will become almost dependant on you for fun, activity, and love.

There are a myriad of personality types you will find out in the world.

Another is The Snob. This person needs an average Joe or Jane to bring

them down to earth. They won't want to stoop to the level of giving you a

second look - but be persistent. The Snob's affection is earned. The more

affection you give, the more flattered The Snob will become. This is

because The Snob, by trait, likes to be given things. Instead of spoiling

the Snob with things he or she already has, provide something unique. Cook

The Snob romantic dinners at home, and skip the fancy restaurants. Pick

the female Snob wildflowers instead of buying traditional roses. The Snob

can then brag to other Snobs that he or she has someone "different" than

everyone else. And as you know, Snobs always like to have what everyone

else doesn't.

There is also The Soap Opera Star. If you have the saintly qualities

needed to love The Soap Opera Star, more power to you. This person eats,

sleeps, and breathes drama. Take the normal ups and downs in life, and

multiply them by 1000. Such is the life of The Soap Opera Star. The Soap

Opera Star misplaces his golf club, and everything that happens from that

point on in the day is absolutely ruined. Don't be surprised if The Soap

Opera Star takes his or her troubles out on you. If you desire to love

this gem, patience, understanding (even if you must pretend) and the

ability to console are qualities you have to put forth. The Soap Opera

Star will end up completely in love with you. If you decide to leave The

Soap Opera Star, he or she will stalk you.

Another popular personality is The Complainer. Everything annoys The

Complainer. You can tell The Complainer that he or she looks nice today,

and they will respond with a very serious, "Why do you have to lie to me?

I gained 5 pounds in the last week, my pants look too short, and I'm

having a bad hair day. I definitely know I can't trust you to tell me the

truth." If you truly love The Complainer, you will never take their words

to heart. You will also keep providing them with more topics to complain

about, like a drug supply to an addict. Bring up topics that you know they

love to moan about. They, in turn, will provide you with hours of

one-on-one conversation. You'd better have a good ear to listen, and be

able to support them in their outlandish claims. Don't expect to do too

much talking yourself. The Complainer will love you to death. Literally.

All in all, no matter what type of person you are trying to win over,

you can do it with a little bit of common sense and consideration. Think

your way through the situation. That's all it takes. The power of love is

in your hands.